mosquitohunting

an ungraceful ballet--

of slapping hands

smeared corpses

falling foes.

an unchoreographed dance--

of leaping bodies

elusive sprites

never-ending troops.

the itch of a bite-

the sting of two weapons-

the disgust at the mess-

the thrill of the hunt.

MOSQUITOS

I hate mosquitos. MOS-QUWI-TOES. They are stupid, filthy, annoying blood-suckers. They don't sparkle in the sun, they aren't totally beautiful, and, thankfully, they aren't immortal or indestructible. 

Some people are like mosquitos. They nag, they bite, they're nuisances, and people really just wanna slap them. At the moment there are two people in my year like that. A really bitchy Korean girl (lets call her MAY) and a really pig-headed Bangladesh boy (lets call him IK).

The thing is, no matter how much we hate something, no matter how useless it seems, it has a purpose. If it didn't need to be here, it wouldn't be here. This means that, basically, no matter how much you resent something, it's there for a reason, so try not to let it get you down for too long, because the best way to go is up.

LIGHT

The most beautiful thing in my life at this moment is the way the light enters my room on the weekends, when I'm lying in bed, listening to some music, maybe reading a book or watching a DVD, and admiring the patterns that form from on the tiles of my room and the mosquito net that shields my bed.

I took these with my crap old camera, so unfortunately they're a little stripey. Lukily, it's not that obvious...

FRIENDS

This goes out to all my friends, whether you know your one of them, whether you remember me, whether it's not the same as it was, whether your with me now, whether I never seem to care, whether we fight too much, whether we haven't seen each other in ages, whether I haven't even met you yet; this one's for you.

I'm sorry when I hurt you-

When I forget to laugh,

When we fight over nothing,

When nothing said sounds true.

When I'm as stubborn as a calf,

And when I'm not appreciating

all the things that you've done;

Even though your like my own personal sun.

I'm sorry if I'm mean,

If what I said still hurts,

If that stupid thing still makes me seem the worst.

What's worse is when I mean it,

Everything I said,

All those hurtful words 

rushing from my head.

I might've meant to hurt you,

But now the guilt erodes,

It leaves the feelings churning

and sorry won't seem to show.

All those silly bruises,

All those giant scars,

how much they hurt my heart.

This silly little poem,

Though it mightn't rhyme,

It's true all that I say,

That's all I need you to know.

Because every time we laugh,

Share a private thought,

You weld yourself right to me, 

As if we'll never ever part.

But there are some who seemed so close,

Who I thought would never leave,

Who once breathed my air

but now never seem to care.

The faithful ones still linger,

And how I love them so,

Yet the memories of those who've left will trigger

seeds that once did grow.

Through all of those hard times,

Through all of the bad,

You were always still able

to pick me up when I got sad.

If I wasn't there,

If you thought I didn't care, 

I'll always try my hardest

to make sure this friendship's fair.

Though I sometimes let you do all the work,

I really need you to see,

That if it weren't for you,

I'd probably cease to be.

All that's left to say,

(And I hope you know it's true)

Are a few small words to make your day;

I love you, for you.

FAVORITES

MOVIES:

(500)Days of Summer

10 Things I Hate About You

Juno

Rear Window

Howl's Moving Castle

Spirited Away

Lord of the Rings

BOOKS:

The Tomorrow Series

I, Coriander

The Book Thief

Harry Potter

The Twilight Saga

The Host

Chaos Walking 

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

This Is All: the pillow book of Cordelia Kenn

The Day of the Triffids

Hero

The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson

Looking for Alibrandi

The Wind on Fire

MUSIC:

The Doors

Jet

Frank Sinatra

Nancy Sinatra

The Beatles

and far too many songs to name here...

TV:

The Simpsons

Futurama

Doctor Who

Torchwood

Desperate Housewives

FOOD: 

Anything chocolate

Sushi

Pizza

Spaghetti

Meat Pie

Pavlova

Fairy Floss (Candy Floss)

Peanut Butter and Celery

Peanut Butter Crumpets

Peanut Butter

Milo

Calamari

Risotto

and WAY much more...

I would love any reccomendations!

LONGING

It's there. Always at the back of my mind. That nagging itch that can't be satisfied, not here anyway. The most pressing of my worries; when will I be home? As my jail sentence is coming to a close, I wonder, 'where will we live next? Please take me home. My friends, my country, I need them... you can't keep me away. Not forever.'

When will we go home?

MY COUNTRY

My Country

The love of field and coppice, of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance, brown streams and soft, dim skies-
I know but cannot share it, my love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country, a land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges, of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons, I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror- the wide brown land for me!

The stark white ring-barked forests, all tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains, the hot gold hush of noon,
Green tangle of the brushes where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops, and ferns the warm dark soil.

Core of my heart, my country! Her pitiless blue sky,
When, sick at heart, around us we see the cattle die -
But then the grey clouds gather, and we can bless again
The drumming of an army, the steady soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country! Land of the rainbow gold,
For flood and fire and famine she pays us back threefold.
Over the thirsty paddocks, watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness that thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country, a wilful, lavish land -
All you who have not loved her, you will not understand -
Though earth holds many splendours, wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country my homing thoughts will fly.

Dorothea McKellar

Another favorite of mine. What can I say? I'm very patriotic. I love this because of it's imagery, and how much it rings true with the Australia that I love. I feel the same way about Australia as she did; no matter how far away I am, it will always be my home. I know for a fact that if someone said to me that i had to get a sentence of some sort as a tattoo, that without a doubt I would get 'I love a sunburnt country...'

SHAKESPEARE

Wow. Shakespeare is better than I ever thought he would be. Most of the people in my class are dying of boredom because they can't understand it, and at first, I was too. But then I went home and read at my own pace, not stopping every second word to analyse what he was saying, and it all changed. Everything clicked: it all made sense, and it was beautiful.

Last class, my teacher accused me of being too negative, making too many snide remarks. Sure, when it comes to Romeo and Juliet, I find their love far too impractical. She said I was never able to see past my prejudices. Um, excuse me? I think Shakespeare is one of the most talented writers who will ever live, and  I haven't even finished reading R&J. I'm really looking forward to reading more of his work, and would appreciate hearing what they're favorites are.

Gosh, all I can say is, if I was even half the writer he was, I would be published already... The way he turns even the smallest thing into something new and exciting, it's not skill, it's not talent, it's a power.

SET-BACKS

People go through set-backs all of the time. Just to open this blog I had to work my way through the instructions that were in sanscript. At the moment my biggest set-back comes in the form of living in Bangladesh. 

Everyone says that even if I don't appreciate it now, I'll think it was a great experience when I'm, older....

If one more person says that to me, I swear I will punch them. 

When I was in year 5, my Dad broke the news to me that we would be living in China for 3 months. God, that seemed like the most horrible thing in the world. 3 months away from my friends! How would I survive? Of course now, looking back, I realise it wasn't too bad. I ate things that I wouldn't have eatcen anywhere else, got to visit places I never would've visited, and had a whole new experience. 

Annoyingly, this proves right all those people who say I will think living here is a great experience. And sure, I'm not saying it won't be, but right now, it's not. Well, it kind of is. I've been able to go places we never would've gone, and meet some amazing people. But that doesn't make up for the fact that I am honestly, truly homesick. More homesick than I have ever been before, in my whole life.

I guess that the thing that annoys me most is that we left half-way through year 7. One of the very few years I said that I must spend in Australia. Also, we happen to be living in the most over-populated country in the world. To top it all off, there is nothing to do. Outside of school, it is almost physically impossible to have a life. Sure, you have sleepovers, and movie nights, and go out to eat, but it's not the same. You cant go for a walk on your own, ride your rip-stick down to the milk bar, go have a pie down at the local cafe, zip down to the shops for some Smith's Salt & Vinegar Crinkle-Cut chips. 

And then there's my friends. All th people at the school here have learnt how to make friends that may not last too long, due to travel. When I made friends, it was for life, and now it feels odd that I don't see them every day at school, can't go over to their house, catch up on the weekends. 

When I was making friends here, I was subconcsiosly not getting too close. I knew I would have to leave, and therefore, not wanting to have to handle too much pain, I made it harder for myself. Now, over 18 months into my jail sentance, there is only one person here who I think I would want to keep contact with when I leave. Which makes me feel guilty. All these people here, who I cosider my friends, are wonderful people, and Ijust don't appreciate them enough.

In June/July of this year, we move away from Bangladesh. Finally. Unfortunately, my set-back is not yet over. 

When Dad applied for some new jobs, he gave me a whole list of places we might move to. I really hoped he would get one of the jobs in the UK. Or, failing that, the job in Bangkok. I told him, if it came to a choice between to jobs, anywhere would win over New Dheli. It was too close to Bangladesh. I need somewhere completely different. Huh, I guess it figures that so far, the only job he's got so far is the New Dheli job.

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it. When you don't get what you want in life, shut up, get over it, and try to want what you get.

UNDERWATER

When I was 10, my parents got me a digital camera. It was amazing, I as so happy! Well, this Christmas, my parents got me a new one. My old one, no matter how trustworthy it was, is now taking weird stripey photos. A girl at my school has a water-proof  digital camera. I asked Mum and Dad if I could get one. They said they would think about it. 

I could kind of tell they were looking for one while we were in Bangkok. On the plane in Brisbane International Airport, they explained to me that they were looking for one, but they weren't too sure if they'd be able to find one. They said that if they found one that wasn't too expensive, they'd get it for me. On our way through immigration, we stopped off at the duty free counter to get some chocolate. I saw one of the water-proof cameras that I wanted, and I pointed it out to them. 

It was $300 or-so dollars cheaper than what they had seen in Bangkok, plus it came with a free Quiksilver towel. Anyway, to cut the story short, they got it for me. I was obsessed. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and all the different photos I could take. 

Finally, Christmas day arrived and they gave my brand new WATER-PROOF DIGITAL CAMERA. The whole time we were in my cousin's cousin's pool I had my camera on, taking photos. Annoyingly, it's an Olympus, and they don't use the same memory card as other cameras, so I had extremely limited memory space. 

Here are the photos that I took.

KOLA

On my way to Australia this Winter Break, we stopped off in Bangkok: AGAIN. I'm not complaining, though, I love Bangkok. It's a great place to shop. The markets are great, and it's absolutely wonderful to get back into a mall after being with

out any for even the shortest while. I think my favorite shop in Bangkok is 'Propaganda'. It has a great range of amazing little tid-bits that are just so odd you hav

e to have them.

 

This time round I found a useful little ting called Kola. They're just rectangular pieces of coloured plastic, but they make ordinary photos a little more interesting. I prefer putting them over the flash rather than the lens, but thats j

ust me. Here are some of my first experiments with Kola.

THIS IS JUST TO SAY

This is Just to Say

I have eaten 

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which 

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

William Carlos Williams

This is one of my favorite poems. I came across it in my 9th Grade English class. It was posted on her bulletin board. This poem inspired one of mine (I Couldn't Help Myself) and I think it is really clever, simple and unique.

raininsummer

Rain in summer

Brings goosebumps.

Rich, moist, soil

Fresh and new scents.

Tickling you, 

Mild and wet.

A cool breeze chills,

Shivers run wild.

The pitter pattering 

Of a perfectly choreographed army

Dancing in glorious harmony.

THE LOGIC OF A SIX YEAR OLD

On Christmas Day last year, I was given an underwater digital camera. I was really excited, and couldn't wait to try it out. We were spending Christmas Day at my cousin's cousin's house, and were in the pool using my camera. 

Taking a self-portrait of three people is hard enough at the best of times, but when your under water, it's even harder. I asked my six year old cousin, Lakeisha, if she could take the photo for us, seeing as she was wearing goggles. 

For some reason, she was unable to take the photo properly. Finally, after working out what was wrong, we gave her back the camera, asking her to try again. We explained that we would go under water first, because we had bigger lungs, and then she could dive under and take the photo. As we went under, she dove down with us and tried to take a photo with her in it. We all burst out laughing, and rose to the surface to explain again. 

After telling her three times, we were just about to give it another go, when she said; 'Wait, how about I take just the three of you?' We burst out laughing and said; 'Yes thank you, that would be lovely!'

After having a picnic with my aunt, uncle, cousins, grandparents and my parents, it started to pour down with rain. We ran through the rain, pausing under cover before starting the final sprint to the car park. Lakeisha, made me smile at the logic (or should I say lack of logic?) of a six year old.

LAKEISHA: I'm glad we're under cover now.

ME: I thought you liked the rain.

LAKEISHA: Oh, I do! I like standing in the rain, but I don't like getting wet.

ME: So you like it when the rain falls on you, but you don't like getting wet?

LAKEISHA: Yeah.

thunderonasummerday

Thunder on a summer day

Brings a hint,

A promise

Of rain that might

Pour down from

The sky

Above.

listeningtomusicatnight

Listening to music

After lights out

Is a sacred act

That makes your blood rush

As if your breaking a law.

The lowest possible volume

Sounds so loud

In the quiet.

The light from the iPod's screen 

As you change songs,

Or re-adjust the volume

Seems like a blaring beacon

In the darkness.

RANDOM THINGS I HAVE SAID

Linoleum is the crappy plastic stuff that pretends to be tiles. And wood. I hate it when it pretends to be wood.

ME: (cough, cough, cough) Oh, no! I've got swine flu! Hahaha! MOOO!

MACKENZIE: Um, swines are pigs...

ME: I know th- OH! Hahaha! Pigs don't go 'mooo', they go 'OINK'!

icouldnthelpmyself

I couldn't help myself,

I ate the last Tim Tam

In the packet.

Scavenging the chocolate

That stuck to the packet.

I knew I shouldn't

But I did.

It tasted so good

I just had to eat them all.

I'm sorry.

If it makes you feel better,

I'll have to exercise

A lot when I get home,

And the Tim Tams

Have probably made it worse.

WRITING

I have always loved writing. English has been one of my favorite subjects ever since Kindergarten. Writing a book has been a life-long ambition of mine, but that's not saying much. When it comes to writing stories, my problem is that I am never able to finish them. The only story-line that I think would be worthwhile finishing is in my year 7 English book. Unfortunately, it was never returned to me, so in order for me to finish the story, I'd have to start all over again. 

Although writing a book seems unreachable right now, poetry has always been fulfilling and has always been somewhat of a strength of mine. Poetry is a great way for me to express how I feel, and I really enjoy writing it. Reading good poetry can put me in a great mood, and can clear my mind as much as writing it can. I'm going to post some poems I've written, as well as some of my favorite.

TATTOOS

God, lately tattoos have been on my mind. I don't know why, they just have. I remember the first time I really wanted to get the same tattoo as my Dad. Mum wasn't very happy about that. The idea of getting tattoos has become more and more appealing to me as the years pass. At only 13 years old, I have plans for at least 3 tattoos. 

Some tattoos are ugly, some are beautiful; some are meaningless, and some are meaningful. Of course, beauty (and in this case, also meaning) is in the eye of the beholder. Tattoos are a very permanent way of making a statement, and a great deal of thought must go into the decision process. I mean, not only do you have to choose what you want tattooed, where you want it, hoe big you want it, whether or not you want it to be coloured, you also have to think of the meaning behind the tattoo. of course, not all tattoos have a meaning behind them, but it makes a better story if it does.

Tattoos are very personal, and often tell the beholder a little about the person with the tattoo. In my opinion, all tattoos should have a meaning behind them, and should be as unique as possible. I know for a fact that all but one of my tattoos will NOT come from the flash.

So far, these are the tattoos that I would like to get, where and why:

A circle with the bottom cut out and two swirly waves; I will get this on my left wrist, probably during schoolies (even though I'll be underage) and it will represent my love for the ocean, my childhood by the sea, my wonderful Coogee beach, and will also serve to remind me to be as much like the sea as possible. The ocean is a force to be reckoned with, and can be both wonderfully calm and worryingly fierce. The description I gave doesn't give the design justice, I'll try and upload a drawing of it.

A skull and cross-bones; I want this tattoo to be exactly the same as my Dad's though I will probably get it in a different spot. Dad's is on the outside of his right ankle, though I think I would get mine on my inner ankle. It would stand to remind me of my Dad, and also to say that death is ever-present. 

A small, black, map of Australia; I will get this tattoo on my right hip, right before I go away for university, or before I head of on my own travels for the first tie. I was originally going to get the Southern Cross on my lower back, but it is extremely generic, so have for the moment decided against it. This tattoo will be to remind me that no matter where I go, how far I travel, or where I live, Australia is where i was born, bred, and call home.

At the moment, my Mum has been talking about getting a tattoo. I was shocked, and have a feeling she's only doing it so that I will say she'll regret it, to dissuade me from getting any. I personally think it's a good idea, and if she does get one, and I like it, I'll get the same one.

Well, that's all I have to say on the topic of tattoos for now, but I know this won't be over any time soon...

BLOGS

I always thought about creating a blog, so my friends who weren't with me could keep track of what I was up to, but I never started one. I knew that I would never get into a pattern of posting regularly, so I didn't bother setting one up. Now, however, after reading the blog of a long-time friend of mine, I decided I might as well. 

This blog won't be about what's going on in my life, but will instead be about what's going on in my head. I'll also post some of my poems (or as I like to call them, mopes) and any of my photos that I think you might like. 

Well, here goes!