SET-BACKS

People go through set-backs all of the time. Just to open this blog I had to work my way through the instructions that were in sanscript. At the moment my biggest set-back comes in the form of living in Bangladesh. 

Everyone says that even if I don't appreciate it now, I'll think it was a great experience when I'm, older....

If one more person says that to me, I swear I will punch them. 

When I was in year 5, my Dad broke the news to me that we would be living in China for 3 months. God, that seemed like the most horrible thing in the world. 3 months away from my friends! How would I survive? Of course now, looking back, I realise it wasn't too bad. I ate things that I wouldn't have eatcen anywhere else, got to visit places I never would've visited, and had a whole new experience. 

Annoyingly, this proves right all those people who say I will think living here is a great experience. And sure, I'm not saying it won't be, but right now, it's not. Well, it kind of is. I've been able to go places we never would've gone, and meet some amazing people. But that doesn't make up for the fact that I am honestly, truly homesick. More homesick than I have ever been before, in my whole life.

I guess that the thing that annoys me most is that we left half-way through year 7. One of the very few years I said that I must spend in Australia. Also, we happen to be living in the most over-populated country in the world. To top it all off, there is nothing to do. Outside of school, it is almost physically impossible to have a life. Sure, you have sleepovers, and movie nights, and go out to eat, but it's not the same. You cant go for a walk on your own, ride your rip-stick down to the milk bar, go have a pie down at the local cafe, zip down to the shops for some Smith's Salt & Vinegar Crinkle-Cut chips. 

And then there's my friends. All th people at the school here have learnt how to make friends that may not last too long, due to travel. When I made friends, it was for life, and now it feels odd that I don't see them every day at school, can't go over to their house, catch up on the weekends. 

When I was making friends here, I was subconcsiosly not getting too close. I knew I would have to leave, and therefore, not wanting to have to handle too much pain, I made it harder for myself. Now, over 18 months into my jail sentance, there is only one person here who I think I would want to keep contact with when I leave. Which makes me feel guilty. All these people here, who I cosider my friends, are wonderful people, and Ijust don't appreciate them enough.

In June/July of this year, we move away from Bangladesh. Finally. Unfortunately, my set-back is not yet over. 

When Dad applied for some new jobs, he gave me a whole list of places we might move to. I really hoped he would get one of the jobs in the UK. Or, failing that, the job in Bangkok. I told him, if it came to a choice between to jobs, anywhere would win over New Dheli. It was too close to Bangladesh. I need somewhere completely different. Huh, I guess it figures that so far, the only job he's got so far is the New Dheli job.

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it. When you don't get what you want in life, shut up, get over it, and try to want what you get.

UNDERWATER

When I was 10, my parents got me a digital camera. It was amazing, I as so happy! Well, this Christmas, my parents got me a new one. My old one, no matter how trustworthy it was, is now taking weird stripey photos. A girl at my school has a water-proof  digital camera. I asked Mum and Dad if I could get one. They said they would think about it. 

I could kind of tell they were looking for one while we were in Bangkok. On the plane in Brisbane International Airport, they explained to me that they were looking for one, but they weren't too sure if they'd be able to find one. They said that if they found one that wasn't too expensive, they'd get it for me. On our way through immigration, we stopped off at the duty free counter to get some chocolate. I saw one of the water-proof cameras that I wanted, and I pointed it out to them. 

It was $300 or-so dollars cheaper than what they had seen in Bangkok, plus it came with a free Quiksilver towel. Anyway, to cut the story short, they got it for me. I was obsessed. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and all the different photos I could take. 

Finally, Christmas day arrived and they gave my brand new WATER-PROOF DIGITAL CAMERA. The whole time we were in my cousin's cousin's pool I had my camera on, taking photos. Annoyingly, it's an Olympus, and they don't use the same memory card as other cameras, so I had extremely limited memory space. 

Here are the photos that I took.

KOLA

On my way to Australia this Winter Break, we stopped off in Bangkok: AGAIN. I'm not complaining, though, I love Bangkok. It's a great place to shop. The markets are great, and it's absolutely wonderful to get back into a mall after being with

out any for even the shortest while. I think my favorite shop in Bangkok is 'Propaganda'. It has a great range of amazing little tid-bits that are just so odd you hav

e to have them.

 

This time round I found a useful little ting called Kola. They're just rectangular pieces of coloured plastic, but they make ordinary photos a little more interesting. I prefer putting them over the flash rather than the lens, but thats j

ust me. Here are some of my first experiments with Kola.

THIS IS JUST TO SAY

This is Just to Say

I have eaten 

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which 

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

William Carlos Williams

This is one of my favorite poems. I came across it in my 9th Grade English class. It was posted on her bulletin board. This poem inspired one of mine (I Couldn't Help Myself) and I think it is really clever, simple and unique.

raininsummer

Rain in summer

Brings goosebumps.

Rich, moist, soil

Fresh and new scents.

Tickling you, 

Mild and wet.

A cool breeze chills,

Shivers run wild.

The pitter pattering 

Of a perfectly choreographed army

Dancing in glorious harmony.

THE LOGIC OF A SIX YEAR OLD

On Christmas Day last year, I was given an underwater digital camera. I was really excited, and couldn't wait to try it out. We were spending Christmas Day at my cousin's cousin's house, and were in the pool using my camera. 

Taking a self-portrait of three people is hard enough at the best of times, but when your under water, it's even harder. I asked my six year old cousin, Lakeisha, if she could take the photo for us, seeing as she was wearing goggles. 

For some reason, she was unable to take the photo properly. Finally, after working out what was wrong, we gave her back the camera, asking her to try again. We explained that we would go under water first, because we had bigger lungs, and then she could dive under and take the photo. As we went under, she dove down with us and tried to take a photo with her in it. We all burst out laughing, and rose to the surface to explain again. 

After telling her three times, we were just about to give it another go, when she said; 'Wait, how about I take just the three of you?' We burst out laughing and said; 'Yes thank you, that would be lovely!'

After having a picnic with my aunt, uncle, cousins, grandparents and my parents, it started to pour down with rain. We ran through the rain, pausing under cover before starting the final sprint to the car park. Lakeisha, made me smile at the logic (or should I say lack of logic?) of a six year old.

LAKEISHA: I'm glad we're under cover now.

ME: I thought you liked the rain.

LAKEISHA: Oh, I do! I like standing in the rain, but I don't like getting wet.

ME: So you like it when the rain falls on you, but you don't like getting wet?

LAKEISHA: Yeah.

thunderonasummerday

Thunder on a summer day

Brings a hint,

A promise

Of rain that might

Pour down from

The sky

Above.

listeningtomusicatnight

Listening to music

After lights out

Is a sacred act

That makes your blood rush

As if your breaking a law.

The lowest possible volume

Sounds so loud

In the quiet.

The light from the iPod's screen 

As you change songs,

Or re-adjust the volume

Seems like a blaring beacon

In the darkness.

RANDOM THINGS I HAVE SAID

Linoleum is the crappy plastic stuff that pretends to be tiles. And wood. I hate it when it pretends to be wood.

ME: (cough, cough, cough) Oh, no! I've got swine flu! Hahaha! MOOO!

MACKENZIE: Um, swines are pigs...

ME: I know th- OH! Hahaha! Pigs don't go 'mooo', they go 'OINK'!

icouldnthelpmyself

I couldn't help myself,

I ate the last Tim Tam

In the packet.

Scavenging the chocolate

That stuck to the packet.

I knew I shouldn't

But I did.

It tasted so good

I just had to eat them all.

I'm sorry.

If it makes you feel better,

I'll have to exercise

A lot when I get home,

And the Tim Tams

Have probably made it worse.

WRITING

I have always loved writing. English has been one of my favorite subjects ever since Kindergarten. Writing a book has been a life-long ambition of mine, but that's not saying much. When it comes to writing stories, my problem is that I am never able to finish them. The only story-line that I think would be worthwhile finishing is in my year 7 English book. Unfortunately, it was never returned to me, so in order for me to finish the story, I'd have to start all over again. 

Although writing a book seems unreachable right now, poetry has always been fulfilling and has always been somewhat of a strength of mine. Poetry is a great way for me to express how I feel, and I really enjoy writing it. Reading good poetry can put me in a great mood, and can clear my mind as much as writing it can. I'm going to post some poems I've written, as well as some of my favorite.

TATTOOS

God, lately tattoos have been on my mind. I don't know why, they just have. I remember the first time I really wanted to get the same tattoo as my Dad. Mum wasn't very happy about that. The idea of getting tattoos has become more and more appealing to me as the years pass. At only 13 years old, I have plans for at least 3 tattoos. 

Some tattoos are ugly, some are beautiful; some are meaningless, and some are meaningful. Of course, beauty (and in this case, also meaning) is in the eye of the beholder. Tattoos are a very permanent way of making a statement, and a great deal of thought must go into the decision process. I mean, not only do you have to choose what you want tattooed, where you want it, hoe big you want it, whether or not you want it to be coloured, you also have to think of the meaning behind the tattoo. of course, not all tattoos have a meaning behind them, but it makes a better story if it does.

Tattoos are very personal, and often tell the beholder a little about the person with the tattoo. In my opinion, all tattoos should have a meaning behind them, and should be as unique as possible. I know for a fact that all but one of my tattoos will NOT come from the flash.

So far, these are the tattoos that I would like to get, where and why:

A circle with the bottom cut out and two swirly waves; I will get this on my left wrist, probably during schoolies (even though I'll be underage) and it will represent my love for the ocean, my childhood by the sea, my wonderful Coogee beach, and will also serve to remind me to be as much like the sea as possible. The ocean is a force to be reckoned with, and can be both wonderfully calm and worryingly fierce. The description I gave doesn't give the design justice, I'll try and upload a drawing of it.

A skull and cross-bones; I want this tattoo to be exactly the same as my Dad's though I will probably get it in a different spot. Dad's is on the outside of his right ankle, though I think I would get mine on my inner ankle. It would stand to remind me of my Dad, and also to say that death is ever-present. 

A small, black, map of Australia; I will get this tattoo on my right hip, right before I go away for university, or before I head of on my own travels for the first tie. I was originally going to get the Southern Cross on my lower back, but it is extremely generic, so have for the moment decided against it. This tattoo will be to remind me that no matter where I go, how far I travel, or where I live, Australia is where i was born, bred, and call home.

At the moment, my Mum has been talking about getting a tattoo. I was shocked, and have a feeling she's only doing it so that I will say she'll regret it, to dissuade me from getting any. I personally think it's a good idea, and if she does get one, and I like it, I'll get the same one.

Well, that's all I have to say on the topic of tattoos for now, but I know this won't be over any time soon...

BLOGS

I always thought about creating a blog, so my friends who weren't with me could keep track of what I was up to, but I never started one. I knew that I would never get into a pattern of posting regularly, so I didn't bother setting one up. Now, however, after reading the blog of a long-time friend of mine, I decided I might as well. 

This blog won't be about what's going on in my life, but will instead be about what's going on in my head. I'll also post some of my poems (or as I like to call them, mopes) and any of my photos that I think you might like. 

Well, here goes!